Funny Thoughts Newlyweds Have

[caption id="attachment_831332" align="alignleft" width="1068"] Bigstockphoto.com/African-American mid-adult couple wearing orange clothing on orange background.[/caption] Your first few days as newlyweds, once you’re done with the honeymoon and returned to your regular lives, can come as a bit of a shock. You’ve spent about a year talking about and planning a wedding every single day. All you could see was the big day, making it a little hard to see past it, into your life as newlyweds. If you’re a solid couple, life doesn’t have to change after you get married. If you were already living together before tying the knot, then your dynamic really shouldn’t feel much different. But getting married is significant, and it feels odd to just…go on about your routine! Don’t worry; you’ll get used to it. Here are funny thoughts newlyweds have. [caption id="attachment_714821" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

Does this make our unmarried friends feel weird?

You might feel like you’re rubbing your married status in your unmarried friends’ faces simply by hanging out with them. But hey—anyone who feels that way isn’t a very good friend. Just have your friends over—married and unmarried—and don’t make a whole thing about it.         [caption id="attachment_705360" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

Huh. We’ll still fight, apparently.

Having your first fight as newlyweds can be jarring. You realize that on some subconscious level, you thought getting married could somehow magically put all fights to an end. And you realize that fighting in a marriage feels a little scary—if you can’t fix it, that could end in divorce! But you’ll fix it. It’s just a little fight.         [caption id="attachment_697557" align="alignleft" width="471"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

Who is paying for this now?

Unless you had some discussion or signed papers saying you can both just spend one another’s money however you please now that you’re married, finances will remain about the same. But in a larger way, your money is combined now (if you wanted to buy a house or raise a child it certainly would be!) which can make paying for that first dinner out as newlyweds a little mystery. Whose pocket is this really coming out of now? Both of ours?         [caption id="attachment_616901" align="alignleft" width="378"] Corbis Images[/caption]

His mom is my mom now

His mom is legally some form of mother to you now, too. That means you kind of do need to take her opinions and feelings into account more, you need to make sure you call her on her birthday, and you can turn to her for motherly wisdom.             [caption id="attachment_619791" align="alignleft" width="500"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

Taking birth control feels funny now

When you weren’t married, you knew you didn’t want to have kids and that’s why you were taking this pill. Taking the pill the first time as a newlywed subtly raises the question in your mind, “Do I want to keep taking this?”     [caption id="attachment_719469" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

Should we be cleaner?

Something about being married can make you feel like you should clean up your act—literally. You make look around your living room, with its sweaters and cups sprawled everywhere, and say, “We gotta clean up! We’re married for goodness sake!” But marriage doesn’t change your cleanliness habits. Sorry.           [caption id="attachment_609503" align="alignleft" width="500"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

Should I understand taxes better now?

You will have a funny moment when you realize you did the very grownup thing of getting married, but you still don’t entirely understand very grownup concepts like taxes.     [caption id="attachment_714215" align="alignleft" width="420"] Shutterstock[/caption]

Women still flirt with him? He’s married!

You’ll be offended and surprised when you find that women at bars still flirt with your husband—even though he is wearing a wedding ring. Yup. Husband-chasers are out there, people, and your husband is now on their radar.         [caption id="attachment_717933" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]  

Men still flirt with me? Thank goodness.

While you won’t like that women flirt with your married man, you will appreciate it when men still flirt with you. Hey, it’s nice to know your appeal doesn’t go away just because you’re a wife now.           [caption id="attachment_716449" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]  

Do we have to host Thanksgiving now?

There is this odd pressure to be the “parents” of your group of friends, if those friends don’t have their actual parents living in town. This can mean doing things like hosting Thanksgiving dinner and letting somebody live on your couch while they’re between places.       [caption id="attachment_700233" align="alignleft" width="468"] Shutterstock[/caption]

Somebody should just give us more money

You’ll have this thought—this, “Hey! We’re full-blown adults now. Somebody should just give us more money. Like the government? My grandparents? I don’t know. But somebody should help us act more adulty and buy more adulty things. Hm. Adulty isn’t a word.”               [caption id="attachment_615305" align="alignleft" width="378"] Corbis Images[/caption]

Saying, “My husband” feels pretentious

Introducing your husband or talking about your husband as your husband for the first few weeks can feel funny. It can even feel a bit pretentious. But it isn’t! You’ve made a life-long commitment to this person! You deserve to call him by a title that announces that to the world.             [caption id="attachment_694316" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

Should we tell our neighbors?

You won’t know why, but you’ll feel the urge to go around the neighborhood, possibly with a tray of cookies, letting people know you got married. It’s not like you’re new to the neighborhood, but you feel that your new status should be announced.           [caption id="attachment_693332" align="alignleft" width="418"] Corbis Images[/caption]

We should have sex differently

You may feel pressure to spice things up now that you’re married. It will hit you that this is your only sexual partner forever now, and visa versa. You better keep things interesting! But not really. You’ve enjoyed having sex together for years now. There’s no reason you suddenly wouldn’t.           [caption id="attachment_719795" align="alignleft" width="429"] Shutterstock[/caption]

Complaining about him feels wrong now

Complaining to your girlfriends about the little annoying things your partner does used to be a Sunday afternoon past time. But now something feels wrong about it. You may find yourself asking, “I decided to marry this man. Am I even allowed to complain anymore?” Sure you are.

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